It is so wonderful being off work for a couple of weeks. I can do whatever I want! So far that has been: sleeping in late making dark chocolate and mango brownies with pine nuts, walnuts and brazil making lavendar-scented candles with layers of purple and pink and real roses in them making a huge pumpkin and mushroom soup making Christmas cards going for a (short) run making plans to go and see my favourite singer-songwriter play in London planning to visit the British Museum and an exhibition of 'Weird and Wonderful Inventions' planning to have an Action Day with my best friend's husband - walking/ caves/ canoeing inviting my friend and husband over for dinner planning my friend's baby shower
My family are far, far away. I try not to feel abandoned. After all, it was me who went far, far away from them many years ago. I put 5 and a half hours between them and me, just so that I could feel sure they wouldn't sneak up on me.
My parents are in the Middle East and my sister is in California.
Sometimes I want to fly away. But when you've moved a lot growing up, like I have, it feels important to stay still for a while, to establish a sense of home. I guess I might have got to the stage where I've internalised a sense of home, so that I could go anywhere and feel safe and stable and loved.
They are a good family these days. They write to me and tell me that they think about me, that they care. I do the same. We say what we really think. We look out for one another.
It's not bad really. Maybe they're not so far away, after all.
I have a new friend who is tall with a mass of light brown, curly hair. He is very gentle and kind. We cook together and he makes me happy. He took me out riding in the woods and I was frightened, because I don't feel safe on bikes, but I feel safe with him so I did it. I even enjoyed some of it - zipping over the roots of trees!
He seems to like me just the way I am. He is a good artist and he says he likes my writing. He says he would like to illustrate one of my stories, so who knows, maybe he will! I would like to see how he draws the Moon Girl, whether she is beautiful in her despair and how he draws the moon (is it as strong and silent as I imagine?).
I feel happy today because there is someone I can share things with.
I have some simple life goals: 1) to be successful and satisfied in my career, earning well and enjoying my work 2) to get married to the lovely Ed, who is undisputedly the prince of my dreams and 3) to have a loving, healthy, harmonious family together